Monday, July 1, 2013

I guess i've been busy life...I've been keeping busy I guess...

...I've just been doing the normal Mormon-girl equivalent of summer sales... BEING A NANNY. I've been graduated for a year and still haven't started a career. WOOP WOOP. lolz. but seriously, being a nanny is just like being a fake mom..and I love it.

I'm not dating anyone. I'm afraid of dating because I fall super fast and the idiots I fall for are REALLY bad at catching me. Like... Hellen-Keller-in-the-outfield-on-a-rainy-day-bad-at-catching-me.

I HEARD....that some girl called the cops on her crazy ex 6 months ago and she hasn't heard from him since. She also heard through the grapevine that he is indeed engaged again...this time, to a girl he met on facebook. (5th times the charm I hear!)  BAZZINGA!!! (but seriously, rounds of applause and a chorus of angels singing 'hallelujah')

I cried at one of my best friend's weddings the other day.  It really was the craziest thing..cuz it wasn't when she came out of the temple.. not when she hugged me.. none of that. It was when her husband led her out onto the dance floor and they had their first dance together. She was mouthing the words to him while they looked at each other, and they both were absolutely beaming with pure JOY. My eyes literally could not stop tearing up. I was holding a friends baby and had to look down at the babes adorable chubby face to blink away the tears before my friends came back to the table. I just... cannot fathom loving someone so much, that I will want to spend not only my life with them, but my forever with them as well. And I especially can't imagine THEM wanting that with ME. I can't imagine any of it!! Isn't that silly?

I'm still a doula but only really do births for my friends...I love being a part of something so amazing...and I can't wait for the day I get to be a mom. Seeing all my friends become mothers has given me a lot to look forward to...and seeing all my friends become mothers has also definitely made my faith grow about Heavenly Fathers timeline for me. It has been a humbling experience to say the least. But much joy does it bring me to see my friends bring their very own brand new babes into the world? A ZILLION JOYS ON THE JOY SCALE!!

Oh and when I'm bored? Me and my little sister think we are hilarious so we make vines and lol our butts off in the middle of the night. (shout out to you, chelleybean)

I'm just busy being 23 and freaking out about not knowing where my life is going......and then realizing every other day that I'll probably never know where its going till I get there. I always thought I'd be in a completely different place in my life than where I'm actually at right now. I'm as far away from that place than I could ever be! But still hoping and working towards getting there. We'll see. Not planning on having my plans work out...because plans never do seem to work out, do they?