Saturday, July 25, 2009

quote of the day

me: margorie, how was your day?
marg: (says nothing)
me: just a normal sunday, huh?
marg: well yes. unless you're training the animals...
me: ............

Thursday, July 23, 2009

I'll miss..

things i'll miss about being a hospice aide:

-hearing the same stories over and over again, and listening like i've never heard them before

-hearing the 20 minute ice cream joke that ron tells everytime he has icecream

-helping my sweet little bev to bed every night

-having ken say 'hello' in the nicest voice he can muster.

-trying to figure out what ken means just from the few words he can use, and seeing the look on his face when i get it right.

-hearing the funny things my patients say in their sleep.. 'dwight howard!'

-the stories they tell from their childhood

-the stories about falling in love with their spouse

-hearing about their travels around the world

-hearing what it was like to climb Mount Everest (really. it happened, before she went crazy.)

-being genuinely thanked

-making breakfast and dinner for my patients

-hearing about what the war was like

-holding thier hands

-reminding bev what her walker is for

-hearing what it was like to see babe ruth play baseball
and growing up in the italian immigration part of brooklyn

-asking ron who his favorite president was and hearing 'roosevelt' and genuinely being shocked at how ancient he is

-watching sherlock holmes, perry mason, wheel of fortune, and jeopardy with them

-hearing margorie's random answers when i ask her a question. (ex. 'my cat had a phonecall' or 'there are educated outlaws tapping my phonelines')

three more days of work then i'm done. boo. :(

Sunday, July 19, 2009

'but i always need you!'

one morning when bev awoke (you know.. only my favorite 93 year old in the whole world) .. i was helping her to the bedside commode, and ron was already waiting for her to wake up. she saw him across the hall and waved like a little school girl, (mid-pee, mind you.) 5 minutes later, ron came hobbling into her room, out of breath with his squeaky walker. bevs face lit up like a kid in a candy store. she was smiling so big that her wrinkles had wrinkles, and i couldn't help but smile. imagine this conversation, in the thickest tennessee accent possible.

ron: Good morning precious!
bev: Good morning dear!!
ron: How did you sleep?
bev: Just fine thanks.
ron: Good to hear. Do you have time for a kiss?
bev: What? (bev lost her hearing aide. We are still looking for it.)
bev: (checks watch)
ron: (hobbles over and gives her three kisses, like always.)
bev: Thank you dear!
ron: You're welcome precious. Would you like to have breakfast with me?
bev: What?
bev: OH!! of course. but i think i'll go back to bed first.
ron: Of course you would dear. (Giggles and looks at me. he hobbles out, turns around at the doorway, and blows a kiss to her.) Call me if you need me dear!
bev: (catches kiss and smiles at him) ...But i always need you.

tears welled up in my eyes. seriously. ron in the doorway in his robe that showed his skinny old legs, and bev on the bedside commode in her long pink nightie. both of them had morning breath and couldnt hear a single word the other was saying. but they smiled like it didn't matter. and there i was, sitting next to bev on the chase lounge, crying my eyes out while i wiped the tears away trying not to upset bev. i love them. i love how in love they are. i love that they look at eachother like they are 20 years old. i love how when bev wanders into his room at night because of the alzheimers, she wakes him up and he doesnt mind. in fact, she leans over him and says, 'Ron? Ron!? did you call my name? Are you okay?' He wakes up from a deep sleep and instead of being startled or angry, he smiles so wide and reaches up to kiss her on the lips. 'No precious, but i wish i had! I'll see you in a few minutes, okay?'.

i always listen to their converstaion on the baby monitor when he tucks her in.. but sometimes ron falls asleep so i get to tuck bev in myself. i give her a sip of water, (because if i don't, she'll wake up in the middle of the night and say, 'nurse! nurse! my mouth is as dry as a stick!'), put chapstick on her lips, fold her sheet halfway over her comforter and ask if shes comfortable. everynight she grabs my hand and everynight she says the same thing. 'Oh yes I'm comfortable. Thank you for all you do. You spoil me, there will be no livin' with me soon! Thank you. Have a good night sleep!' I always try and think of the different ways i can say 'youre welcome', because she thanks me so much.
Shes the greatest lady ever. she cant stand the feel of carpet on her feet so she always has to wear her pink slippers. hahahahh and when i put lotion on her, she always says, 'purrrr purrrr!' like a cat, and we both end up laughing so hard that neither of us can breathe.

I'm convinced that i have the best job in the world. sure a few diapers here and there, but it doesnt gross me out at all. i'm gonna miss my job.

Monday, July 13, 2009

who on earth.. would sport those?

there are no words. actually. there are. heres a few..
i was flipping through a magazine the other day... and saw this:

now.. lets take a closer look..

woof. or should i say 'neigh'. or maybe even 'spit spit' (camel noise.)

yes, she is wearing hoof-style boots. i think it looks like the toe of a camel...or shall i say.. a camel toe. think what you must, but i think little miss carrie bradshaw took a dive into the fashion pool of disaster on this one. not that im a fashion style diva or anything.. i wear matching pajama sets for crying out loud, but i do have eyeballs. if only stacy and clinton knew about this one. haaaaaa sarah jessica parker. haaaaaa. thank you for making my day with your awful, awful choice of footwear.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

quotes of the day

"i'd be pissed if i had all sons."


"ew that looks like a cocopuff. did you see that mole on that womans back? it was huge!"