Friday, April 30, 2010

sue sylvester

"When I see a hot tub, I don't see a hot tub. I see a cauldren for people soup."
-Sue Sylvester

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

words words words

Remember this little post that i wrote about my patients for my english memoir? Well guess whaaaaat. It won the 'voices' competition in class, and i gotta read it on thursday at the performance hall infront of other english 2010 classes. :/

six quick things:
1. First of all, I was hoping i'd win.. because i worked really, really hard on it. can i say that? I really just loved this paper because I love my patients..and i felt like i needed to portray them perfectly. i needed to do their sweet little selves justice! And also this little competition reminded me of the writing contest that i DIDN'T win in the 5th grade. I think it was for red ribbon week, and i totally thought i had it in the bag.. because I was in 5th grade and was the shiz, right? Well, i definitely LOST to Vishu Vishwalla and held a grudge against her for the rest of the year.

2. Second of all... I can't even read scriptures aloud in sunday school let alone on a stage infront of people in a huge fatty performance goes a little like this: "And it.. and... and it came to pa- and it came to pass that the sons..the sons of the......fhsaklfhjdakhjfdkal"I just get nervous when i have to read, okay!?

3. Third of all..I really hope i don't forget to wear my jeans where the zipper actually works. :/ I'm going to wear cute panties, just in case i forget.

4. Fourth of all..I think im gonna be published in next years little english book that all the little sophomores have to critique. So. I guess maybe its not that awesome, because other teachers will probably pull me apart. but. whatever. kewl whip, right?

5. Fifth of all.. no I'm not breaking any HIPPA violations because I'm changing their names.

6. Sixth of all.. in your face Vishu Vishwalla!!!! HA!!!

Monday, April 26, 2010

this is why i love ellen

maybe im crying tears of laughter because its so late.. but... i'm rofling.

and also

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Cause we all need a little Mer in our lives..

"A wise man once said you can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it. What he meant is nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you're willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good means letting go of what you know is right, and letting someone in means abandoning the walls you've spent a lifetime building. Of course, the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming, when we don't have time to come up with a strategy to pick a side or to measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear."
-Meredith Grey

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Hey..America called, wondering where all their talent went?

this is insane. watch all of it.
MAN. darn you china.
always one graceful, limbery step ahead of us.

frick. operation starvation is in play now, fellas.
not that i wanna be skinny enough to stand on top of some mans head and not give him a concussion and/or break his neck, but man!!!
say goodbye to my theighs. this is my motivation!
every morning im gonna get up, look in the mirror and say to myself,
"be a skinny swan lady. BE A SKINNY SWAN LADY!!!"

p.s... anyone creeped out by second :46?

Thursday, April 22, 2010

quote of the day

"I was at work just barely drinking out of my nalgene.. and when i ran out of water i muttered, 'augumenti'.
nothing happened.
i hung my head in shame. fail.
life sucks being a muggle." -ry snow

mmmm smellishus

its 1 in the morning.
i have 2 finals tomorrow.
2 very important finals.
you know what that means?
i'm going to blog about pointless things. la la la.

So there i was, taking a bubble bath, and LOVING the smell of mr. bubbles bubble bath. it reminds me of when i was little and my mom would pour a tiny little capful into our bath. i would always hoard all the bubbles away from my little sister. ha.
and i got to thinking about how smells remind you of certain things, you know?
so heres my list. its quite funny. talk about a walk down memory lane.

the smell of artificial peach: reminds me of going to Toys R Us with my grandparents when i was about 4 years old. They gave us 5 dollars each to go buy something. (HEAVEN!!!!) I remember it took me like... 40 minutes to pick out something i wanted. My sisters all got random stuff, and i was just in a little conundrum. I finally picked out this awful smelling little bottle of toy perfume. it smelled of peaches. ahhh. memories.

the smell of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies: reminds me of coming home from Glenmoor elementary school to a surprise in the kitchen. Sometimes my mom would bake these cookies and it was SUCH a treat. seriously. special occasion.

the smell of various lotions/perfumes while a tween/teen:
-cucumber melon: 6th grade, ms. mcmullins class. i'd always put it on under my desk and she hated the smell of it. muahah.

-lovespell: mckay meyer, 7th grade. ohhhh was i under a lovespell or what!? he gave me socks for my christmas present. aww.

-curious: the 8th and 9th first love, austin. only because i'd steal my sister kristin's perfume when i'd go to see him. hahahah.

-fantasy: sophomore boyfriend. i think he gave it to me as a present... no wonder i hid it away for years after i got dumped.

the smell of newspaper: reminds me of Glenmoor book-bucks. i loved that glorious time in the school year.

the smell of fog from fog machines: artificial blood and witches. lots of both.

the smell of lilac: Grandma Tygerson. I don't know why. I think the soap in her bathroom smelled like lilac or something.

the smell of puppy breath: creepy, right? shut up. it reminds me of my most favorite puppy ever. sadie. so what if she pooped everywhere!? :(

the smell of home depot: numerous outings with my dad to go buy wood or something. you know, since our house was under construction for like 87 years. i loved riding on the huge orange carts. whenever i walk into lowes or home depot, i have the strongest urge to ride on those carts again. sometimes i do.

the smell of homemade salsa: saturday jazz nights at the Nicolaysons. i always wanted to stay till like, 3 in the morning. we always left at 11. grrrrr.

the smell of autumn fabreeze: snow hall. *shiver*

the smell of coconut body butter: bonnie glass-coffin's anthropology class. what else was i to do but hydrate my skin in such an awful class? also, it reminds me of SD. mmm.

the smell of coffee: the falk residence. :)

i think i've rambled enough. goodnight.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

ohhhh funny day.

me: whats the first book in the book of mormon?

him: ummm..

me: nephi.

him: really? i thought it was neffi all this time!

me: no, nephi.

him: dammit.

her: why don't you come to church with us this week?

him: i'll have a hang over from the night before.

her: ha! you already promised you weren't drinking the next three weeks!


Monday, April 19, 2010

quote of the day

Today I got an email from boring Dr. Kondrat... (aka Mr. Ratburn)... saying,
"Class, remember that tomorrow's lecture will be held outside. Be there or be square."

oh i love the sunshine and the things it does to people.

Friday, April 16, 2010

i have confidence in sprinnnnnngtime

there is this family guy clip of stewie griffin dressed up as 'maria' from the sound of music.. and he is frollicking down a sidewalk singing, "i have confidence in springtimmmme..." so whenever spring comes around, i think of stewie as julia andrews. its wonderful. sometimes i'll just burst into a stewie griffin accent when im walking on the sidewalk and the sun is shining.

maybe you just have to see it to think its funny. whatever.
that is why i have been MIA for a while.

cuz im so durn busy havin fun in my last weeks of school!


and fun things happen in springtime. and kids wear shorts and flip flops when we get a glimpse of sunshine here at USU. 60 degree weather is HEAVEN to us.

and let me tell you what we have been up to:

me and christy blew up my raft and sailed on first dam.
we basked in the sunlight and used our arms for paddles.
i saw the regular chinese fisherman on the dock that told me that the fish only like hamburger.
that joker.

we planted flowers at friends of the elderly, where ralph told us the cutest love story ever about how many miles he had to walk to get to his wifes house when they were courting. he told us he was so glad when he finally bought a bike because dating her was so much easier. his wife almost laughed till her dentures fell out. then fontella told us that her mom wouldnt let her get married because she was too young. so then, to spite her mother, she got pregnant. ha.


Now that its spring, i have seen probably 729 pregnant girls on campus. i couldn't know why. today as i was walking to the bus, i saw another one, and in my head i said.. "i see pregnant girls everywhere i go..." and then the next line that came into my head was sung by the little comic named Glen that lives inside my brain.. "i see pretty girls everywhere i go..everywhere i go.." then i saw a large, random piece of bacon sitting on the sidewalk. i had a shakefit of giggles.

me and some friends went to the pet store today. just to look.

i left my wallet home on purpose.

you know that poor little pets in small little cages are my weakness.

then we went to barnes and noble. just the smell of that place automatically gives me the smiles. i can't tell you how wonderful it is to browse through all the journals and see all the books and sit on the floor and read wonderful things.

today was day on the quad.

the sun was shining, the college students were acting rowdy, ah it was marvelous.

Then we went to our complex's spring bbq. mmmm nothin like the gool ol smell of a bbq. we also enjoyed making fun of various tools in the pool. ha. tool party pool party. la la la la.

then it was the dance & true aggie night. the only part i like about that, is they string twinklie lights up by the 'A'. its super pretty. then we get to see all the awkward kisses take place. eekkk. gotta love springtime hormones.


i cant wait to ride bonnie blue bike when i move home for the summer!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Saga of a Girl

I've had my nose nosily stuck in a book for the past five years.
Not a real book. But sort of. A real life SAGA, if you will.
My best friend of 8 years has been dating a boy for 5 years. (i know i can say this because there is no possible way he will read this...)
This saga included ups and downs and a somewhat awful/joyous ending, all of which i of course have been involved in.
And last night, i got to the last chapter. Yes, i stumbled across the awful:
'OMG congratulations to the both of you!' on his facebook page.
He's getting married. to someone ELSE. *jaw drop*
My little heart broke for her heart.
5 years compared to 5 months!?
I prepped myself for the worst, and invited her to sit on the couch with me so i could tell her he was marrying his new girlfriend of 150 days.
And what was it that happened, you ask?
I started crying. Not her, I.
ME. Crying because my her ex boyfriend is engaged.
Am i overly emotional? Way too involved? PMS-ing? All of the above?

She was telling me that she knows there is someone else out there better for her.
She wanted to feel happy for the both of them. She didn't wanna egg his house or give her a flaming surprise on her doorstep. She wanted to feel happy for him!
And even though it hurts, she is excited to feel real love.
The kinda love that she'll share with her eternal companion.
What on earth?
When i found out my ex was engaged i cried for a whole day and threw up TWICE.
(it ended up being a rumor..but..hah.anyways..)
How was it that I was crying about her first love being engaged and she wasn't!?
I couldn't know. I'm blessed with really, really strong friends.
I need to learn from her. Like.. seriously.
Even though its an awful thing, at the same time, its sort of wonderful to know that there is someone better out there for my bff. And it made me realize that there is someone better out there for me than all the IDIOTS i've been dating.

Guess what made me feel better for her though?
I printed off the ugliest, pre-pubescent picture of him in the world..
and slipped it under her door with a little note, telling her that her husband would be so much hotter than him.
Immaturity at its finest.
its how i cope, okay!?

Sunday, April 11, 2010

You're doin it Peter, You're doin it!

Last night, me and the crew went up to chadwicks cabin.. (really its just a huge/nice house in the middle of nowhere on this beautimous lake up in idaho...) annnnnd it doubled for Neverland for the night. Awesome.

The night involved:
-8 boxes of little ceasars pizzas
-a rousing/awful game of mafia
-a pegleg pirate pinata
-a Neverland photoshoot
-the pan couch game
-a few sweaty games of around the world ping pong
-an amazing food fight with imaginary food
-watching hook and realizing that one of the insults he uses is: 'near-sighted gynocolegist'
-and we topped off the night with a random disney movie. Hercules.
Ahhhh. i love my friends.

Friday, April 9, 2010


Some day.
One day.
My Gilbert is going to tell me that he can't afford sunbursts or marble halls.
And i'm gonna tell him that I don't want sunbursts or marble halls.

..and you know how the rest goes.

Ahh Gil. My very own Gilbert Blythe.
Can't wait to meet you.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

ordinary fairytale day

Once upon a time, last night sucked.
but im glad i have friends who will  make me laugh when i have snot/tears running down my face.
i need to not be so pms-y. but FRICK i'm a woman okay!?
i ordered 2 dozen rolls from texas roadhouse today. :/
for me. and my roommates. but mostly for me.
damn you nadeene.

i'm failing my first college class ever. and its stressin me out.
and boy (b) makes me wanna punch him in the face everytime i see him.
and, you know that terrible book i was talking about for social work?
well today it got worse. wayyyy worse.
abuse and killing worse. rated R social work worse.
so much worse that i called my mom in tears asking her if it was okay to sparknote this book instead of reading, and if it was considered cheating.
I told her the book was tearing up my soul, and she told me that it wasnt cheating if it was for a good cause.
i was delighted with that and stopped crying.
(turns out sparknotes didnt have it, so i just butchered my book report on it instead.)
anyways, the moral of the story is, i'm not going into child welfare services. too hard.
maybe i'll do international adoptions.
turn into a little angelina jolie, if you will.

tonight was much better though.
 after i got that stupid report done, we skyped a friend in china.
then played mario.
then i took a bubble bath. it was awesome.
(i may or may not have played in the bubbles annnnd made a bubble beard on my face. I felt like i was 4 again. and then i remembered how i used to scuba dive in my bathtub. and this one time my mom came in hysterically laughing because she saw this little girl with her nakey butt in the air, having the time of her life in 5 inches of bath water, sporting eye and nose covering goggles and a snorkle. ahhh. memories.)

then me and my roomies had a burning ceremony of a certain someones letters. this certain someone is engaged to a certain someone else but he was supposed to marry a certain main someone.
what an idiot.
so we burned all his letters tonight.
maybe we listened to an angry t-swift song.
 it was funny.

then we had a dance party in our living room.
The End

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

best best best

I'm going to hate myself in the morning when i have to wake up at 7.
i just have alot on my mind.

such as:
I have expectations. alot of them.
 But i think i'm allowed to, because as much as i doubt myself and sometimes i doubt my worth due to all the people passing me up or putting me down or making jokes about me somehow missing the talent train,
 i think i'm allowed to deserve the best.
who isn't allowed to deserve the best? maybe hitler or someone like that..
but i mean really. Where is my bucket of best? 
I know someday I'll have the best..  but i wish it'd hurry up and get here.
  i've been saying best too much. its lost its meaning.
best best best best.
I need to be my best self so I can deserve the best.
Because no one ever got anywhere in life by sitting on their bums
and waiting for something  bestish to happen.

I've been reading a book called 'Turning Stones' for my social work paper due on thursday..
 (yes, i just started it today.)
...Its about a caseworker's stories in the Emergency Child Welfare field..
and sometimes i ask myself what the H-E-doublehockeysticks i'm getting into.
 Kids being taken outta their homes with track marks on their tiny little arms?
or traces of cocaine in their blood?
Learning about 'doughnut burns' (if you dont know what those are, dont ask.)
and learning about different types of handprint bruises...
 I know i want to help people in my profession and i know its where i need to be..
but i think i may have to take alot of mental health days.
or maybe just not work with babies.
because it breaks my heart.
 I need to thicken up my skin.
I wish they had something like that.
like skelegrow but skintoughengrow.
yeahhhh. skintoughengrow.
sorry that its so late i'm making up my own HP potions..

I can't wait to start working with my hospice patients again.
 I can't wait to hold their old little hands and talk about the war again.
 I need it i think.
 it helps me keep perspective on the important things in life.
So what if they smell like poop?
i think they are adorable.

I'll probably blog tomorrow during stats. because lets be real. I'm failing that class anyways and i need something to distract me from that awful accent of Docta Cutlaaahhhhss.

Next stop: bed
Up ahead: finding my bucket of bestish things.

Monday, April 5, 2010

fresh air & birthday

someone pooped in the air vents in the library today.
what a miserable surprise for all the librarees.

Also, it was my best friends birthday today...

we've been bff for 8 years now.
shes great.
and such a wonderful example to me.
she always gives me an optimistic outlook on life when i come home wallowing in my self pity.
oh shes great.
you should know her.
or at least, stalk her here.
(i'd post pictures but oh wait.. i got sand in my camera from sd. cry cry cry.)

Happy birthday chris!

Sunday, April 4, 2010


"Progress involves risk. You can't steal second with your foot on first."-Frederick Wilcox

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Reason # 4,531

Reason # 4,531 as to why i love my mother..

Her text tone for all of her children is Stewie Griffin saying, 'mom. mom. mama. mama. mum. mum. ma. ma. mommy. mommy...'

oh family guy.

oh sharon booth.

livin on a prayer..

So, last night i was driving back to logan after my big sisters bridal shower dinnerish type thing..
And it was late. and I was sleeeeepy.
And the canyon had never been so sucky. EVER.
Iwas slushy and snowy and windy and WHITE. and i literally couldnt see anything.
I tried to stay calm, so i mumbled a little prayer that i wouldnt die..
because thats the only thing i could do because i was freaking out so bad.
(it was either saying a quick prayer or imagining what my obituary would look like. really. it was that bad.)
anyways, i was livin' on a prayer, if you will.

a few minutes after i muttered the prayer...
the ipod connector stopped working and the song playing stopped.
it usually just turns an annoying tone of fuzzy until i turn the whole thing off out of anger, ya know?
wanna know what song came on out of the blue loud and clear though through the radio waves right then?

"ohhhhh we're halfway there ooOOHHHH livin' on a prayer!"

i giggled.

Someone upstairs must have a sense of humor.

Friday, April 2, 2010

bad day turned magical..

I started tearing up in my stats class during the test review yesterday.
I knew there was no way i'd pass the final the next day, especially since i had zero time to study.
I averted my eyes from my teacher and rushed out the door, walked to the parking lot in the snow, got in my car and called my mom. Tears poured outta my sorry little eyeballs.
Snot was running all over my face and my voice was plugged with my head cold.
I pressed "2" and a quick "send"..dear ol mommys speed dial number.
"b-b-b-u-t if i fail i won't get into my program and.. and.."
She asked if it would be better if i stayed and logan and missed the long awaited Michael Buble concert so i could study and pass.
I glared at the cars around me looking at me wiping the snot and tears off my face.
"It's just allergies alright!?!? Its allergies!!" (yes, bsc reference)
I tried to send the staring bystanders gamma rays of hate via my pathetic tear-stare.

I got back to my apartment, only to find out that not only was i going to fail my first college class ever, but also that my ex, boy (a), had been double timin it the whole time a few months back.
wanna know how i found out?
A certain 'homewrecker' (lets call her, trixie) was bragging to my best friend that she was the one who broke up "boy (a) and 'wifey' (me)" and that boy(a) left his beloved 'wifey' for his beloved 'trixie' and 'trixie' and boy(a) still have a running joke about wifey to this day.
And yes, in case you were wondering, i was completely oblivious to the whole situation.
oh ps NBD that i find out that boy (b) who has been currently on my mind has his mind currently on something else. right infront of me. that is blonde. and probably brunette. and probably a few red heads here and there because thats just what boy (b) likes to do.
double awesome.
what else could go wrong!? what i ask you?!
i arrived at the E center with a sad little heart and weepy eyes. cry cry cry.

but then...


oh that sweet voice of his soothed my soul.
i couldnt believe that it was him
and i was in the same room with him.
(the rest of the 10,000 people didnt matter)
he was singing TO ME.
i've only been obsessed with him for about 3 years now.
(like, i listen-to-him-everyday-and-imagine-kissing-him-obsessed.)
and then..he sang billy jean. and danced like MJ.

could this be any better?

my two favorite things in the world. together.
all i needed was a reeses and i'd be slap happy.
i soon forgot about statistics, trixie, boy(a) and boy(b).
how could i dwell on my awful day with this beautiful hunk of jazz man singing to me!?
I couldnt help but clapping like the crazed Wonder's fan on 'That Thing You Do'.

and then.. i imagined jumping over the railing and doing a jacob-esque landing 12 feet below, bum rushing the guards, and sneakily making my way up to Michael so that he could hold my hand and sing into my eyes and ask me to be his. (#26 on the list)
i probably imagined it 5 or 6 whole times while he sang 'best of me' and gazed into my eyes through that big jumbotron.

next time buble, next time.

at the end of his dancing and wooing and all of the women in the crowd swooning and drooling at him...he sang the last song without his mic.. and 10,000 people were dead silent.

it was amazing.

....and then Michael made an announcement that he wanted to marry me and he asked for my hand right then and there and everyone was super jealous and i blushed and it was magical.

the end. bye.