Soooooooooo this one time, I ate dog food.
I was probably 4 or 5, and had gone over to my sister’s friend’s house with them for some reason. I don’t remember why…I was pretty young and wasn’t cool enough to be friends with any of their friends. (My sisters secretly/not so secretly despised me at this age, because i begged them literally everyday to play board games with me...Stratego..Sorry..Monopoly..you name it. They always said no.) My mom was probably tired of me annoying her..or had to run some errands..ANYWAY…I was there. And I remember, my sister’s SNEAKY little mean friend, Kelsey, telling me that her dog Ginger… could fly.
WHAT!?!? No……HOW!? And just like that I believed her. I imagined that old golden retriever floating around the room like it aint no thing. She told me that Ginger could fly, because she had magic dog food that she fed to her. And guess what? There was still a little bit of that magic dog food left in Ginger’s bowl over there. How lucky was I right in that very moment!?!? I slowly glance to her half-empty food bowl.....
Cut to Nicole’s thought process right now: Nicole eating out of Ginger’s foodbowl, nibbling a few bits of kibbles, and suddenly sprouting WINGS, ripping holes in the back of my esmerelda shirt, and gracefully flying up to the top of Kelsey's tall red bunk beds where my sisters were playing. HA! They would think I’M the cool one and not the little stupid one if I frickin had WINGS and could FLY from eating some stupid dog food they didn’t even THINK to eat!!!! Those fools would be SO JEALY and SO SORRY they didn’t take that chance! They'll wanna play with me once i have WINGS for heavens sake!!!!!!!!!
Cut to reality: Dogfood did not sprout wings, did not taste good, and I’m pretty sure Ginger got a litttttlllleee territorrial and did not take kindly to a miniature human eating out of her food bowl.
....I think this experience was one of the other times my family wondered if a genetic disorder had been suppressed for the past 4 years of my life until this moment.