chasing people.

chasing people will never make them want you.
it will pull them away from you, actually.

so, heres a little guide for you gals to learn what i have learned the past week...

how to get a boy to not like you:

girls...if ever there is a moment, where a boy you like is driving you crazy and giving you mixed messages for an entire MONTH of hanging out everyday...don't think its appropriate to go out for hot chocolate one night and park in your truck and say..
'hey. are you ever going to ask me out on a date? because i like you..and you tell my friends that you like me, but you aint making a move. so make one or dont, but just lemme know...cuz this no communication thing is frustrating'

because WOOOOAAHHHH there nelly....they will absolutely lose ANY feelings they had for you..i mean, any feelings. if they thought you were pretty before? nope....IMMEDIATE UGLY.
in fact, they wont even think about you ever again, and will bail on you for a younger, more hip chick who is hard to get...who has the same name as my first dog.

how to get boys to like you:
?

......stumped.

In the book 'why men love bitches'....an analogy is made...

when a man waits for hunting season and finally gets to go out and hunt with his buddies..he is beyond thrilled. he is so stoked to find the perfect moose to track and hunt down so he can come home with a beautiful kill. he will taxedermy that crap and hang it up on the wall with pride, because he worked for it!

however...if one day a man opens up his door and there is a dead, bloody moose head on his doorstep.... you better believe he isnt going to take that anywhere but the trash.

am i trash!? was i being a dead moose head? am i forever a dead moose head because i cut to the chase because i've been dragged around multiple times? i'm not good at playing games and im not good at NOT playing games. freak!

but what about when the hunter is just with the moose 24/7 and texts the moose all day and tells all my moose friends that he's interested?
....
MAKES THE MOOSE LIVID.

but hey. frustration no more, because moose found out he was actually pursuing a deer. awesome.



dating is frustrating and totes not worth the pain of rejection.
so after all this drama happened and i was rejected by this boy who i was interested in..i thought..screw it. im not dating anymore. (the usual dramatic reaction that i have after i get dumped).
ive decided..no. this sucks and i dont wanna suck anymore. so, i'm going to date myself. cuz I DONT SUCK!!!! I SWEAR!!

yes, thats right. i took myself to a play last week and it was just lovely. i got ready, put on some cute clothes, and was quite excited to spend the night with myself.

wanna know why this is a brilliant idea?

-i will never break my heart
-i will never yell at me when i do something wrong
-i will never break up with myself and then only text me when i'm bored or lonely
-i will never expect flowers and get nothing from me if i want the dang flowers!
-i will not text me mean things that make me cry
-i will never have to ask myself to take me on a fun trip!
-and i will never leave me for a younger, prettier girl.


likelihood that i will stay happy? 99%
brilliance level because i'm dating myself? BOSS STATUS.