because its been a while

hey yall.

tonight i cried watching the 3rd season finale of glee.
maybe it was because finn broke up with rachel and she cried the saddest cry i've ever seen, next to meredith crying when lexy dies. it ripped my tv-sitcom heart right out.

i need to whine for a min. i feel like the past 4 weeks have absolutely sucked to maximum suckiness...like ermergersh, why am i rachel berry getting dumped by finn except for really i dont have any musical/broadway talent at all..or a boyfriend to get dumped by!? AND.. i've had something in my eye for 3 freakin hours. why... WHY!? im about to grab the ducktape and go buckwild on this whole operation.(i hope this is pms)

post grad life.... :
lately i feel like i'm back in highschool... (which if i was would be BALLIN cuz i wouldnt think i'm way skinny and i probably wouldnt cry over my 16 year old boyfriend...when i was 18. lolz.) but frealz, when everyone in the dumb singles ward knows your business and youre just like, bih why do you know my life? it just makes me wanna sneak into sacrament and sneak right out. awkward glances, stupid text messages that take you 30 minutes to write out, putting on makeup and realizing it was a waste that day. draining. i wish i had a switch in my brain that said "STOP CARING YOU IMBICILE."

people who write passive aggressive texts with '........' and '...' and '..' at the end of everything make me wanna die. Y U NO SAY IT STRAIGHT FO-WARD!?


Right now i need a huge dose of BBC Jane Eyre and some reeses. CUZ SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA BINGE.

since i have zero friends in kaysville, i've been painting everyday for like.. 2-3 hours and its doing a number on my back. i bet you wanted to know that, eh? i just seriously am turning into julia child and am hunching over SO BADLY i couldnt even sit up straight today...so massage time tomorrow. i also re-did my bathroom all cutesie and pinterest like..so imma upload those soon. since i dont have a laptop, ive been ignoring the bloggosphere and uploading any pictures. i'll photo-vomit soon.



I miss college SO BAD.
Not knowing where your life is gonna take you is really, really scary. so...to all of you still in school and complaining about the long hours you spend on homework, and studying, and projects... (which i remember i would complain about on the daily...).... APPRECIATE IT. appreciate the library and the books and the teachers and the school friends. you are going to miss it immensly. because when you start complaining about the real world, which i am doing now, it is a lot more real. i miss learning and education and being engaged in work! just.. appreciate it.

ok, done whining. that being said, disregard all my complaints and hear this: i really need to work on living in the moment and not getting to the next phase in my life, but it is extremely hard when you feel stuck. please bless i remember to just enjoy right NOW.
im going to try to do that.

im done venting. bye.