Wednesday, September 14, 2011

antidote for a heart

Of all the advanced medicine, technology and inventions out there… you think by now, after thousands and thousands of years advancing mankind, someone would be able to put a bandaid on one's so called ‘heart’. You know the type of ‘heart’ I’m speaking of...the one that falls into your stomach when you see him with another girl..the one that breaks into pieces when you lose someone you love to death..the heart that tells your head to do very irrational things all in the name of a four-letter word called ‘love’.

I mean think about it:
-We have drugs to tell our brain to tell our body to stop sending pain signals back to our brain…so the pain in our body magically stops.
-We can see/hear/speak to/communicate with someone on the other side of the world, (now our time but tomorrow their time, mind you) through wires and invisible ‘connections’ that float through the air and space

-We can go LEAVE OUR OWN PLANET for crying out loud.

 But no one has invented something to make your head tell your so called ‘heart’ that its no big deal, you aren’t hurting, don’t dwell on the past, you are fine? Nothing to help erase that aching hollow pain that human emotion sometimes gives you? There really is still no drug that can fix your metaphorical ‘heart’ when its broken?!

And why the heck do we call it a ‘heart’ in the first place!? Last time I did major surgery on someone, the heart was that red, gooey, lobsided muscle magically pumping blood to the rest of the body (or that’s what it looked like on grey’s anatomy). It was the thing affected every function in your entire body, your entire mortal existence. It was the life giver. It was a life taker. Without it, your lungs wouldn’t be able to breathe life in and out of you because no blood is reaching the lungs…There goes your oxygen. Your brain function would cease with bloodflow as well...there goes your personality. No blood would reach the tissues and organs and you would shrivel into nothing-...there goes YOU. Its everything…without it, life doesn’t exist. You do not know life without a heart.

But then again, maybe that’s why they call your ‘heart’ your heart.

In moments of pure heartache, I have felt myself clutching at my chest trying to get air inside of my body. In moments of really awful heartache, it is often I completely become someone else..someone who can’t see the good, is so clouded with pain that I can’t look towards the future, even a little bit. In moments of heartache, I am not me anymore, but some wallowing idiot who only knows how to pump tears out of my face.
That’s not me…not who I really am. But it is what my ‘heart’ has turned me into before. Its not good….not healthy one bit. And I have felt one too many of those ‘broken-hearted’ symptoms this past year.

So, to the person who has the antidote to fix this piece of crap…I’m begging you to let me be the first to test it.


kaitlyn clarissa said...

beautiful. i'm absolutely obsessed with this post.
i'll make sure to bring it up next time im in on of my anatomy/physiology classes. Because heart band aids would probably cure the world.

KB said...

cardiovascular exercise. No really...

Tami said...

It's funny that you mentioned Greys Anatomy, because I totally thought at first that this post was a quote from Greys. It was that good!

I was also going to mention that alchohol and drugs are probably the closest thing we have to bandaids for our feelings, but that sounded like I was endorsing them so I won't mention it. Even though I just did mention it. Don't do drugs.

kstaples said...

Um yep hi you're an amazing writer.

Brooke Tarbet said...

I know one! The Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Robby Spratt said...

I think they are called antidepressants.

(I just stumbled upon your blog. I like your style.)