old love

you know there are 2 things i love most in this world...
1.love
2.old people

...enjoy  =)






found this video from this cute girls blog. (go there, theres some way good stuff. creepy i dont know her? whatever.)

maybe

Maybe its hawaii... seeing all the honeymooners everywhere holding hands and strolling down the beach.

Maybe its facebook..seeing even more aquaintances get engaged/married on the daily.

Maybe its just all being made up in my head.

..but if ONE more bratty girl from my highschool gets engaged, i'm gonna blow.




i deserve a happy ever after, right!?!

FRICK.
icanttakeitanymore.

i jumped into a dark ocean.

yes, i did. me, nicole scared-of-everything booth, jumped into the pacific ocean off of a boat.

WHY the crap would i intentionally do something like that? why would i just decide to cowabunga off of a boat into a deep, dark, scary ocean full of sea animals with huge teeth that like 21 year old human flesh? well because you see..i went manta ray diving. ok not really diving..but snorkeling. half of our boat went diving, half snorkeling. i snorkeled because 1. i'm not certified, 2. sharks eat divers.
on friday night, for about an hour, i got to be BFF with some huge-A sea creatures. a manta ray even smacked me in the leg with its wing-fin!! weird. they are like big leather...suitcases. with wing-fins. cool eh?

first thing that happened after i got my scuba steve gear on and jumped off the boat?
overwhelmed.
thought process:
i'm in an ocean. i'm in a dark ocean. big place with lots of animals. there could be creatures below me. if somefin brushes my leg.........somefin better not brush me...

i dipped my head down quickly to get the first glimpse of underneath me, to check for sharks, of course. (because sharks have absolutely been INFESTING the waters here on the big island. 15-18 foot hunting TIGER sharks, to be exact are everywhere)

first thought: ooo pretty coral.
second thought: i'm going to die.
dizziness immediately ensues realizing i was in a fricking OCEAN. (you know the kind, where your head gets all light and your eyes move back and forth really quick. no? anyone? was i having a small seizure?) anyway, not a comforting feeling. THEN..... all of a sudden. FLIPPER, our trusty guide who had summer teeth, (summer here summer there), announced
"HeEeyYy GGuYyyS...look underneath you! hoo hoo hee hee!!"

Not the first words i wanna hear from someone after i jump into a dark ocean and contemplate how my death with come to be. but- low and behold, baby manta rays were swimming right under us, about 8 feet down. they were about the size of...mm..i dunno, a medium rug? haha i dont even know what to compare them to. it was awesome. the mantas feed on plankton, and the plankton are attracted to the lights the divers were shining up at us. so, for about an hour, we got to be in the middle of the feeding ground for about 20 HUGE manta rays. it was one of the coolest things i've ever seem in my life.

later on though, yes...i was literally nose to nose with big bertha, 15 foot 1600 pounder. it was amazing. my fear of dying a watery death left because i was so amazed and in awe of these huuuuuuge sea creatures. it was a whole newwwww world!!! they would come do loop-de-loops right up in our face to suck in the plankton..and in no way were they scared of humans. they came within inches of our faces. i coulda ridden those things if i wanted to! they pretty much look like stingrays- but giant, and without a barb on their tail...so in no way could any of them 'steve irwin' us. totally safe- boring- beautiful creatures. i advise anyone going to hawaii to do this. completely worth it to see ginormous animals fly across the ocean floor.

not cool= trying to get back to the boat after all the lights were shut off and hearing FLIPPER..once more, tell me a huge manta ray was underneath me. not knowing where exactly it was, if i swished my foot in the wrong direction i could totally shove it down the mantas huge throat...so i verrrrry briskly floated back to the boat with a prayer in my heart i would not get tangled. the ocean is a scary, creepy, AMAZING thing.

once we started heading back the the harbor, trusty Flipper pointed out weird greenish baby lights flickering on the side of the boat. it literally looked like we were sailing on stars... but he explained it was the plants/animals/sea creatures natural reaction/defense mechanism to the boats engine, and little lights twinkled all around us. you know the deep-sea fish on finding nemo? with the little light attached to its head? THAT is what it looked like, x20. cool eh?

such an awesome experience.

quote for the books.

"We learn from trials only because they cause us to pray harder to hear the messages from above. It's the experience of getting answers that help us to grow and learn. The pain and suffering doesnt do anything directly for us but it does help us to seek the spirit for help. I know for me going through the cancer.. I found nothing positive or good in anything related to the awful condition, but the prayers of others and my own made me understand the gospel better and our purpose here on hearth. It is because of that, the experience has been a great one in my life."
-Mom




iloveyoumomyouarethebestmomintheworld.

quote of the day

sometimes, ok most times, i would save little quotes that corbin would say on my phone note-pad to blog later. forgetting about them and finding them = priceless.


"I wish no bugs were ever made but except bees who live in Texas. Cuz I love honey... and Texas is far."

after all this time?

“When I’m 80 years old and sitting in my rocking chair, I’ll be reading Harry Potter. And my family will say to me, “After all this time?” And I will say, “Always.”
 - Alan Rickman.
----

went and saw harry potter by all by myself.

only silently sobbed during snapes flashback.

tore my heart out when he held lily's dead body and harry was in his crib in the background.

the doe/office scene= so great.

sev has my heart foreverrrrrrrrrrrrr and for always.

he may just be my favorite character ever.

nope, this just in: he totally is my favorite character.

things not in the movie i totally wanted to see?
-freds epic death scene
-harry walking into the forest passing all his friends- WITHOUT saying goodbye to everyone.
-more of an epic battle with molly and bellatrix.


sigh. i still loved it though. i also cried when harry was hugging hermione goodbye...and look-hugged ron with his pottery little eyes..

you know the very last scene- where the 3 of them are just standing there, being all majestic and stuff? well, the very dormant actress in my head came out and i could only IMAGINE what they were thinking. the last scene, after 10 years of filming? no more HP, ever!? nuts. :(

i think if jk rowling ever writes a book again..it will suck. and by suck i mean it will be pretty okay i guess...but just because she is the author of harry potter, nothing will ever beat it. so she shouldnt even try.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :(
if you think my random potter posts are over just because the movies are over, you are DEAD WRONG.
i should go to bed.
bye.

nox.

aloha, i'm alive.

After traveling for what seemed like ALL day (who books a flight at 6 in the morning? this moron does)... having a miserable flight over which included: the smell of an old and used adult diaper..... having the plane temp be about 39 degrees the whole time...sitting next to a man who didnt understand the concept of a 'personal bubble' and especially didnt care while his elbows were molesting my personal space during his morning paper time for about 3 hours.......reading SKYMALL 2 whole times in my 8 hours of airplane time and getting way too many ideas for DIY dog furtiture and spycam accessories...picking out who would and wouldnt survive on the plane were we to crash on a desert isle (more on that later)....being so skiwompus about the time change + a bit cranky thanks to a certain T.O.M visitor... i'm here and alive. in good ol hawaii. and it feels sooo good to be back.

its 12:30 here. 4:30 utah time. which is slightly throwin me off.
i'm currently sitting at the kitchen table i used to blog at, ONE whole year ago...in my old bosses house...in a spot where the internet connection is somewhat stable.
t.w.i.l.i.g.h.t.z.o.n.e.
i'd explain but i'm too tired.

today i drove halfway around the island...just because i could.

cute little locals, eh?
more on my adventures later. :)

poison & wine

*dramatic sigh.*

sometimes, an indie song says it best.

Gospel Gem- Parley P. Pratt

"During these interviews [the Prophet Joseph] taught me many great and glorious principles concerning God and the heavenly order of eternity. It was at this time that I received from him the first idea of eternal family organization, and the eternal union of the sexes in those inexpressibly endearing relationships which none but the highly intellectual, the refined and pure in heart, know how to prize, and which are at the very foundation of everything worthy to be called happiness.

"Till then I had learned to esteem kindred affections and sympathies as appertaining solely to this transitory state, as something from which the heart must be entirely weaned, in order to be fitted for its heavenly state.

"It was Joseph Smith who taught me how to prize the enduring relationships of father and mother, husband and wife, of brother and sister, son and daughter.

"It was from him that I learned that the wife of my bosom might be secured to me for time and all eternity, and that the refined sympathies and affections which endeared us to each other emanated from the fountain of divine eternal love. It was from him that I learned that we might cultivate these affections, and grow and increase in the same to all eternity; while the result of our endless union would be an offspring as numerous as the stars of heaven, or the sands of the sea shore.

"It was from him that I learned the true dignity and destiny of a son of God, clothed with an eternal priesthood, as the patriarch and sovereign of his countless offspring. It was from him that I learned that the highest dignity of womanhood, was, to stand as a queen and priestess to her husband, and to reign forever and ever as the queen mother of her numerous and still increasing offspring.

"I have loved before, but I knew not why. But now I loved—with a pureness an intensity of elevated, exalted feeling, which would lift my soul from the transitory things of this groveling sphere and expand it as the ocean. I felt that God was my heavenly Father indeed; that Jesus was my brother, and that the wife of my bosom was an immortal, eternal companion; a kind of ministering angel, given to me as a comfort, and a crown of glory for ever and ever. In short, I could now love with the spirit and with understanding also"

-Autobiography of Parley P. Pratt

my last day

last friday was my last day with my boys. i'll be gone the rest of the summer and when school starts up again they wont need a nanny...so my nanny days with my sweet boys are over. :(

(i walked downstairs on my last day and this was on their little chalkboard)

the last day i was with them, i bought them a bunch of fun summer things to do while i was gone. (the dollar store is a nanny's secret weapon- if anyone was wondering.) i got them floaties, decks of cards, weird goo blow up balloons, weird sponge bug things, water balloons (adding to the 500-yes-500 i already purchased) etc. crap little boys would like. i told them that hopefully it would hold them over for the rest of the summer..... but yes, every single thing was open, used, and pretty much broken by the days end. you wouldnt believvvveeeeee how happy it made them though. cool nanny = dollar store regular. why didnt i know that before now?

(yes, they didnt have little balloons one day so i got regular ones and filled them with the hose. giant mistake.)

-i'll miss the corbin and blake threatening to beat up 'that one old boyfriend' if he makes me cry one more time.
-i'll miss alex running to give me a hug in the morning and clinging onto my leg.
-i'll miss the funny crap corbin says 24/7.
-i'll also miss corbin sincerely telling me from his 9 year old heart that 'you just need to wait, because you'll find the right guy for you soon.'
-i'll miss nick sticking up for alex and asking him if he needs help remembering the three steps for how to 'turn his frown upside down'.
-i'll miss alex  DEMANDING 2 packets of ramen just for himself everday for lunch
-i'll miss nicks donald-duck lisp i tried not to laugh at
-i'll miss blakey talking about his mom and how he knows without a doubt he'll see her again someday.
-i'll miss the funny jokes corbin would tell me all the time that would literally make me laugh way too hard
-i'll miss blakey freaking out unnecessarily over things.


i'll never forget the day i came into the kitchen a few months ago with a tear-stricken face after a certain phonecall. blake and corbin looked at me and didnt know what to say...they just asked if i was okay, what was said to me that made me cry, asking me if they could call back and yell 'shut up' to this certain someone. corbin saw me choking back tears telling them i was fine and this person on the phone was just mean and i was overly sensitive because i was probably tired...and then corbin start crying. i'll never forget watching him sit there at the bar and wipe his tears away with his chubby little hands..just because he saw i was in pain.

i also will never forget the chats me, corb and blake had about their mom who had passed away. i  knew they missed her, but it was so hard to really get through to blakey. one day when we were watching home videos, corbin was pointing out all the old toys they got that christmas from their mom. blake said, "corbin, why are you remembering stuff? everythings gone." broke my heart. later that day i talked with the both of them about her, but blake is a hard one to crack. he always keeps his sadness on the inside and puts on a happy face. i sincerely hope someday he will be able to open up about that to his dad.


when i told my boys to come give me hugs for the last time on friday, i noticed corbin and nick starting to tear up. blake awkwardly watched me cry and didnt know what to say, and alex wouldnt get off of my leg. just look at this little face....................

me: "its okay! i'll come visit and stuff. and i can e-mail blakey and send you guys pictures and stuff, okay? i prrrrrrromise."
alex: "but....but how are we going to keep in touch? (with the most sincere, concerned little face ever) i....i dont even.. i dont even have a facebook!!!!!"

i aaaaaaaaaaalmost lost it when he said that. watching them in the rear-view all waving goodbye to me  from the driveway and watching the little one run after me down the street after my truck....broke. my. heart. they are gonna grow up and get big and i'm not gonna be able to see it all!!!!! :(

yes, saying goodbye to a 7 year old, 9 year old, 10 year old, and 11 year old made me cry- sad, choked-back, painful tears. its a bummer, because i was just getting to know corbin and blakes new step-brothers the past few months...and now i cant be with them. :( ya know what? i think..no..i KNOW..i'm gonna be a hellicopter mom. i'm gonna always wanna be all up in my kids business, so i never miss one single part of them growing up.


i miss my boys already.

finally..

I......... got a big girl camera. Its about dang time too! Her name is Penny, if you were wondering. Penny the Pentax. No, its nothing extravagent...no Cannons or Nikons... however, i love her. 

I may as well get a not-so-fancy dslr just to learn on, right? You better believe i'm gonna go nuts with this when i get to the big island... thats why i bought her.

Me+Penny+exploring Hawaii=bffs forever.

What a better way to christen my new little camera than with the 4th of july weekend.

Happy photo taking.

Whoop Whoop.

I threw in captions for those of you too stupid to figure out what was going on.

(Lady being glam)

 (Michelle being...17)

 (Jackie and George being married)

 (Flower being pink)

(America's birthday cake shining in glory while thanking me for making it) 

 (Old people making me cry at the parade)

 (Dad laughing before realizing his man card was taken away by riding my blue cruiser around town)

(kaboom.)