Monday, August 13, 2012

things i'll never say

avril lavigne eighth grade punk rock sure i cried my eyes out to that song many nights of my KJH days. (I actually remember blasting it from my boom box as well while i would cake on the eye liner in the morning...)

but im serious. i'd like to say these things i'll never hopes i'll stop thinking about them. its not because i'm prideful, or too stubborn to call up these people..... some things just cant be said. And lets be real, some of these things are WAY too mean to say to people! lulzzzzzz.

therapy via world wide interwebz:

Dear A,
I unfollowed you on social media because i was jealous of your fabulous life.
fab life, fab husband, fab house.

Dear B,
Sometimes I think of you and how you are choosing to have a sucky life. I know its really hard and stuff...but i also know what an idiot you are. Abusing substances will only get you so far. I'm afraid someday I'm gonna get a phonecall telling me they found your body somewhere....and that makes me so nervous and sad :/
Quit being stupid and throwing away your brain. and your life.

Dear C,
I'm offended you hate me. It hurts my feelings a little.
I was a good friend to you...and I wish you would have appreciated and realized that back then.
I miss you. Still think you are totes beautiful.
but if i ever ran into you, i would immediately run the other way.
And....i still think its funny you can't spell.

Dear D,
I'm still mad at you. and really hurt by you.
I'm mad you dont care. I'm mad that i care.
you are not who people think you are. you are scared of life and kind of a baby.
im glad we ended when we did. also embarrassed i still let you affect me.
I wish i never ever ever ever met you.
and i think its SO stupid you date sluts...because i am fabulous. and funny.

Dear E,
Does getting married really make you gain 75 pounds?
Just curious.
cuz....I better prepare myself if thats true. :/

Dear F,
You are still in my thoughts, occasionally.
You dont deserve an occasional thought, to be honest.
Stop being psycho.
I wish you hadn't taken up so many years of my life.
I also wish i could use every cuss word imaginable on you. Any respectable person would.
If i ever run into you, i will swiftly kick you in the crotch and run away.
You have been warned.

Dear G,
Thanks for dumping me.
I've lost 15 pounds thanks to you.

Dear H,
Sorry you got partnered with me that one time in class...but contrary to popular belief and your rude opinion, I'm not a lazy student. You are just mad I graduated college in 4 years and am good at passing tests.
Unlike yourself.
Suck on that.

Dear I, married my dreamboat ex boyfriend i always held out hope for.
Curse you.
Guess what though.....I think you are so so so pretty!!!
And because of that, I hope you get a double chin someday.
Sorry but i do.
See ya never.

Dear J,
Usually in public, people wear CLOTHES.
Just in case you accidentally thought that shirt was a dress.

No comments: