Thursday, April 17, 2008

ice cream & chuck norris.

okay so i had a really bad day. really bad. havnt had a bad one for a while. it reminds me of my most memorable bad day, i was four years old. it all started out when i stubbed my toe coming around the corner of my small fremont house. it really really hurt. then i remember something like there being no more cookies left, barney wasnt on, etc. i think i fell off a barstool as well. my mom realized i was having a bad day, so she took me to the park to cheer me up. me and my sister kristin were happily teetering on a teeter totter, when my mom arrived with popsicles. kristin said, MOM HAS POPSICLES! i then remember her hopping of the teeter totter while i was in mid teeter. i was up in the air, and i came crashing down to the woodchips and hurt my butt a little. i was butt hurt as well.

soooo today isnt that bad, but i just am stressed. so i got germanchokolatecake from coldstone. and got some chuck norris jokes.

owns the world!

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

Usually little kids look for the boogy man under their beds. the boogy man looks for chuck norris.

Chuck norris played russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

When chuck norris was born, the only one who cried was the doctor. Never slap chuck norris.

Under Chuck Norris's beard isnt a chin. its another fist.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

Chuck Norris can eat a rubix cube. and poop it out. SOLVED.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

When chuck norris goes out out for halloween it isn’t trick or treat, its live or die

Some people think it is incredible to go down Niagra Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up the Falls in a cardboard box!

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris counted to infinty...twice!

Its rumoured that Chuck Norris`s tears cure cancer......pity he has never cried before.

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother’s womb.

Chuck Norris's cowboy boots are made of real cowboys

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talking about.

Chuck Norris doesnt step on toes, he steps on necks.

chuck norris


Kristin May said...

Bah hahahaha. You DID fall off a barstool. You were laying sideways on three of them, and just rolled off onto the concrete in our unfinished kitchen hahahahahahahaha. I'm sorry. I'm glad you were okay, but it looked really, really funny.

Tamalyn Kay said...

I remember mom going, "We just need to wrap you up in bubble wrap, don't we?"