Monday, January 4, 2010

House of Horrors

This morning i went to a new patients house in salt lake. by the looks of the outside...i was in for a treat.

You know the houses you see on the news with caution tape surrounding the outside? Yeah well i imagine that this house could someday be a posterchild for a terrifying crime scene that may someday pop up on the news. Dont get me wrong, my patient this morning was the CUTEST old man i have ever seen in my entire life, and i'm not exaggerating. Bless his heart, his pants kept falling down, his beenie and scarf and gloves made him look like a little kid, and his glasses were falling off his face...and during breakfast he picked up the same can of condensed milk to read the front of it every 55 seconds. (i counted.)

I guess he was living with his daughter...who came to the door in a leopard shirt and def leopard hair. i kid you not- straight outta the eighties...she eerily resembled Linda on 'The Wedding Singer'. slightly uncomfortable.

But oh wait, i enter the house and almost started crying. It looked like it hadn't been clean for months. How can anyone take care of someone, let alone a senile old man who has a memory span of 55 seconds, in a cluttered run down house? It seriously broke my heart. There was old food lying around the kitchen, mold in the bathtub, the walls were flaking off...there wasnt even enough floor space to get his walker through one room without having to move something. it was sad. I felt so blessed to live where i live and felt so awful for this poor man. If i had more time with this patient, i would deep clean their whole house when the freaky daughter left for work. And then i'd give my patient a lollipop and let him wander ANYWHERE he wanted to. Yes, i think thatd make him delighted.

Apart from this morning breaking my heart, it also creeped me out. I felt like i was in a clown house. I looked to the big pink wall on the righthand side of the house, and it was covered in masks. Yes, masks. probably like, 40 of them. Terrifying.

If you followed the pink wall upstairs past the masks, you saw the main wall of the landing which was a huge, solid chalkboard. Yes, the wall was one whole chalkboard. The absolute only thing i could think was.. "What the hell?" Along with the freaky chalkboard wall, all throughout the wall of everyroom had a wall of mirrors. solid mirrors. even in the shower. creepy. I honestly was waiting for Chucky to run around the corner with a knife. along with that strange decore, the windows were draped with ponchos and decorated with fake flowers... Windchimes and birdhouses cluttered the kitchen, and I felt like i was in martha stewart hell.

After i showered the poor man and got him dressed, i took him to his adult daycare center. Dont worry though, 'Linda from The Wedding Singer' gave me the wrong directions so there i was in my red minivan with a 90- year old man bundled up in the front seat of the car not knowing who i was or where we were going...I think all of my U-turns were making him even more confused.. After driving around for quite some time, i realized that the center was about .2 miles away from his house. FAIL.

Am i going back on wednesday at 6:45 in the morning to shower him and take him to his adult day care again? You betchya.


Lucy said...

It makes me so sad when I see people living in clutter. I'm seriously annoyed at his daughter right now. At least he has some eye candy to look at, I.E. you! :)

Tami said...

That is sad and funny. At least he has a nice aid like you who actually cares about him, though.