Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Count Rugen..You pulled a fast one on me!

So I have a ballroom class every tuesday and thursday that i absolutely LOOOOOVE. its so great. And way fun. We rotate partners all throughout the class, and have been all semester. (though i have this one friend who i particularly like dancing with because he 1. Leads 2. Isn't sweaty 3. Doesnt smell..and 4. We dance really well together. and yes, he is JUST a friend. This actually has nothing to do with my post. Sorry.) Anyways, the other guys in the class are socially awkward..which is to be expected in a beginning ballroom class. One has very long greasy hair who only wears hawaiian shirts but is so nice, one smells so awful that I only breath through my mouth when I dance with him, one has hickeys on his neck constantly...they are nice boys but they never have rhythm and they never have good hygene.. bless their hearts.

So anyways, we are rotating during the west coast swing, and I start dancing with this one boy. With west coast swing, you don't do the traditional ballroom dance hold, its only a one hand hold kinda thing. So I'm used to one hand on the guys shoulder, his hand on my back, our other hands in an upright position, right?

So there we are, me and this boy.. lets call him Vern*(name is changed. actually, I don't even know his name.) We are doing the west coast swing, and as we are doing a sugar push, we have to tap left hands, kind of like a high five position kinda thing. And as I am approaching him, i notice that on his left hand, he has six fingers. yes he is the SIX fingered man. an extra phalange. two thumbs on one thumbspace. with two thumbnails. finger eleven, if you will. and my brain goes, "VERN HAS AN ALIEN TUMOR THUMB ON HIS HAND AND ITS INEVITABLE THAT I'M ABOUT TO TOUCH IT" and I tried to hold back my shock. Want to know why I was shocked? I'VE BEEN DANCING WITH HIM ALL SEMESTER!!!!!!!!! How did I not notice that I've been holding the hand of a six fingered man? Maybe because its the first dance position that isn't ballroom-ish..but I mean.. Cha Cha we had regular hand holds? I don't know how I missed this extra detail! As i quickly averted my eyes, i started thinking: I wonder if Vern's sixth fingernail grows like the rest of his fingernails. I wonder if he can move his sixth finger, and if it is advantageous to him.. I wonder if he is a super fast texter or a really good typist or I wonder if it just sits there like a limp noodle? It was kinda like this, but on his thumb:

As I am holding back my shock/curiosity, during a break.. he suddenly whips out his phone and starts texting. I almost started rofling and had to stare at my shoes while I held back a fit of shaking giggles. (Note* I was not giggling because this poor boy had three thumbs. I was giggling because I could not believe that I did not notice that i've been dancing with him for months and have not noticed). For some reason, I danced with Vern for most of the class, because our instructor forgot to tell us to switch partners. It was hilarious.

Count Rugen from The Princess Bride= Count Vern The Sixth Fingered Boy.

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