someone like you

the fact that Adele is 21 years old blows my mind.
i just...love everything about her.
(minus her smoking habit)

anyways, i'm obsessed with this beautiful song. listen and enjoy :)

antidote for a heart

Of all the advanced medicine, technology and inventions out there… you think by now, after thousands and thousands of years advancing mankind, someone would be able to put a bandaid on one's so called ‘heart’. You know the type of ‘heart’ I’m speaking of...the one that falls into your stomach when you see him with another girl..the one that breaks into pieces when you lose someone you love to death..the heart that tells your head to do very irrational things all in the name of a four-letter word called ‘love’.

I mean think about it:

-We have drugs to tell our brain to tell our body to stop sending pain signals back to our brain…so the pain in our body magically stops.

-We can see/hear/speak to/communicate with someone on the other side of the world, (now our time but tomorrow their time, mind you) through wires and invisible ‘connections’ that float through the air and space

-We can go LEAVE OUR OWN PLANET for crying out loud.

 But no one has invented something to make your head tell your so called ‘heart’ that its no big deal, you aren’t hurting, don’t dwell on the past, you are fine? Nothing to help erase that aching hollow pain that human emotion sometimes gives you? There really is still no drug that can fix your metaphorical ‘heart’ when its broken?!

And why the heck do we call it a ‘heart’ in the first place!? Last time I did major surgery on someone, the heart was that red, gooey, lobsided muscle magically pumping blood to the rest of the body (or that’s what it looked like on grey’s anatomy). It was the thing affected every function in your entire body, your entire mortal existence. It was the life giver. It was a life taker. Without it, your lungs wouldn’t be able to breathe life in and out of you because no blood is reaching the lungs…There goes your oxygen. Your brain function would cease with bloodflow as well...there goes your personality. No blood would reach the tissues and organs and you would shrivel into nothing-...there goes YOU. Its everything…without it, life doesn’t exist. You do not know life without a heart.

But then again, maybe that’s why they call your ‘heart’ your heart.

In moments of pure heartache, I have felt myself clutching at my chest trying to get air inside of my body. In moments of really awful heartache, it is often I completely become someone else..someone who can’t see the good, is so clouded with pain that I can’t look towards the future, even a little bit. In moments of heartache, I am not me anymore, but some wallowing idiot who only knows how to pump tears out of my face.

That’s not me…not who I really am. But it is what my ‘heart’ has turned me into before. Its not good….not healthy one bit. And I have felt one too many of those ‘broken-hearted’ symptoms this past year.

So, to the person who has the antidote to fix this piece of crap…I’m begging you to let me be the first to test it.

lady gaga as a man

i'm sorry, but if anyone saw the MTV music video awards, you unfortunately stumbled upon this cross-dressing-gaga-alter-ego named 'Jo Calderone':

disturbing but intriguing, am i right? i am right. now WHO does he/she remind me of?

is it..john travola aka danny zuko?

no, too dreamy. (the hair/bad boy attitude must have been misleading)

what about that greasy kid (pun intended) from the outsiders movie? ponyboy's friend?

yes, thats it! johnny from the outsiders. now who may this johnny be?

*google search*

..............................

..................

....

AH... the karate kid!? thats right..

ralph.freakin.machio.

disturbing that lady gaga could almost be unrecognizable in the lineup above if it werent for her huge shnoz? yes.

AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT!?

updizzates

i dont quite know why i dont blog too often anymore...maybe its the fact that i dont have a life and my days consist of going to school, napping, and watching prison break.

(dreamy convicts? i'd say so.)

in other news,

1.the walls in my apartment are paper thin and the neighbors upstairs frequently listen to music with deafening base........i'm considering becoming that annoying neighbor who bangs on the ceiling with a broom. either that or leaving a very strongly worded letter on their doorstep.

2. i have been chasing the same SLOW fly around my room for over an hour..and between me swatting the air with a shoe and the fly landing on my face and way too close to my mouth, i'm not getting too far.

3. i went river rafting down the snake with my dad and sister this weekend....it was wiiilllddd. i kept shouting out, 'hey look, its kevin bacon'...because lets be real, you can't go river rafting without remembering that 90's classic he was in, 'the river wild'. who doesnt love meril streep, a villanous kevin bacon, and the annoying kid from jurassic park? anyway, it was fun and i managed to not get thrown out during the rapids! my dad is a professional river rat and i can't wait to go again.

4. i've decided to take a year off before going to grad school. oh ya, i decided to go to grad school. funny huh? me? grad school? HA. not quite sure where i'd like to go yet...hopefully i'll apply in fall of 2012, start spring of 2013 and graduate by spring of 2014. at least thats the plan for now.

5. i started my internship last week. i love it already even though i've just barely started. i'll tell you stories later..... but i will tell you this...working in labor and delivery makes me baaaaaby hungry!

in other, OTHER news, i still don't have a husband. ha to the HA. the end.

Senior!? in COLLEGE?

........

i can't believe this. i'm a senior in college? this is my 4th and last year at USU? what?
i'm only 21. i dont even have a husband yet! (you think thats a joke? its not.)

i moved my crap into my little apartment today.
its by far the OLDEST place i've lived in, so i'm sure you can imagine what it looks like.
its reaaaaallllly old. old as in, they made me sign a contract as to not lick the walls due to lead-based paint, kinda old. but for 167 a month? i'd live almost anywhere. almost.

so, i guess its meh... soso. my closet doesnt have doors...which is completely awkward.. but
the best part about my room is my darling little vanity my mom convinced me to get. pictures soon.
completely stoked about it.... because now i can sit on my little white stool, put on my face, string some pearls on me and feel like anne of green gables getting ready for the ball. dang right i'm gonna do it e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y

its not so bad...i'll only be here half the week anyway, the other half i'll be doing my internship at McKay Dee in the women & childrens unit. i'm excited/nervous...but i'm sure i'll have lots of tender stories to tell.

WELP...
be good to me senior year................ PLEASE.....be good to me.

(pleasepleaseplease let me get straight A's, get skinny, and meet the love of my life.)
kthxbai

Lauren+Chris

my sweet little evangeline is married. and my, my, MY was her wedding beautiful!!!!!
she was such a stunning bride.
with such a handsome groom.
their reception was at the most beautiful mansion up in midway.
they are too perfect for eachother. i can only hope to marry my best friend someday, just like laur did.

i have too many beautiful pictures of them to choose from.. so  heres a few from their bridal/groomal session :)

I LOVE YOU LAUR!

dear future husband,

i will not, under any circumstance, have to beg you to treat me right. got it?

but seriously, even when i tick you off and dont do the dishes for a week+, please still be nice to me.
cuz me and you are gonna not only love eachother, we will like eachother, dangit! and people who like eachother treat eachother right. duh.


just be cool. be you. be my dreamboat i've been draming of.  and at all times, please treat me like you like/love me.

love,
your wife

p.s...hurry up, i'm tired of dating losers.

(ps again, lots more where this came from, future husband. i have a whole secret blog full of em. go ahead, rofl at my pathetic life.)

pins and needles

excuse me for sounding like a television ad, but i must say something:

once upon a time, i was a girl who had really bad allergies.....like, benedryl around the clock + zyrtec wouldnt even do the trick for me. i've had them since elementary, and everytime spring/summer roll around i am just a miserable itchy-nose, red-eyed, scratchy-throat person who complains and cries like like a baby. (i couldnt even go outside to play with my boys when i was nannying because just walking onto the grass would start up an itch attack!)

WELL...i finally got fed up of nothing working and was DESPERATE for a cure.
so i went to go try acupuncture.
and wanna know what?

i am allergy free for the first time in 15 years.
15 YEARS PEOPLE!!!!

i would suggest it to anyone who is allergy-ridden and miserable. the needles are tiny and you can't even feel em. i was scared to do it because i pass out at blood tests..needles are NOT my thing, but it truly isnt bad. (and yeah its a little weird to see a ton of needles poking out of your face and body, but you can just close your eyes for that part.)



boo ya chinese medicine....whatever those magic ninja needles did, they cured me!

Gospel Gem

"All of you need to drink in deeply the gospel truths about the eternal nature of your individual identity and the uniqueness of your personality. You  need, more and more, to feel the perfect love which our Father in Heaven has for you and to sense the value he places upon you as an individual. Ponder upon these great thruths, especially in those moments when (in the stillness of such anxiety as you may experience as an individual) you might otherwise wonder and be perplexed"
-Spencer W. Kimball

home

alooooha. i am home. and its good to be back.

in hawaii...i:

-went parasailing
-went on the manta ray dive
-kissed a dolphin
-layed out/swam at the pool
-layed out/did not swim at the beach
-went to the volcano (which made my shoes real hot)
-went to a huge waterfall in the jungle
-ate like a pig
-drove the coast and explored to my heart's content
-shopped around the awesome farmer's market
-went to the orchid garden (i found flowers that smelled exactly like black licorice and lemon pinesol)
-shook Uchtdorf's hand when he came to church
-spent time with the wonderful Aholelei family
-watched so much shark week that i'm never setting foot in the ocean again.
-layed around and did nothing.

successful vacation.

totally looks like.......

and for the grand finale..........

 is that just UNCANNY or what?