Wednesday, February 17, 2010

My heart is in 84 places right now.

It seems like five years ago i knew what i wanted.
I wanted to be the girl who got married right outta highschool.
I never though i'd need college.
and i thought i'd be the first one to have my own little baby
and be a momma before anyone else.
and live happily ever after without any setbacks.

I was 15.

And now i'm like... what the?
I know things happen on their own time.
I just feel confused.
And i didnt think i'd go through so many heartbreaks
and let downs
and friendships
and phases
and deaths
and late nights
and journal entries wondering where i was going in my life.

I'm twenty.

My heart is all over the place lately.
What do i focus on?
With deciding my career..
Watching my best friends get married..
Watching my best friends have kids..
Watching my best friends go on missions..

but i guess thats just life, right?
I was silly to think it'd all work out like i planned.

life is what happens when you're busy makin plans.
thank you, mr. lennon.

I wish i woulda known that at 15.


Lucy said...

Well, I was so so so against marriage, and having kids. I mean not just like I didn't want it, but everyone knew I absolutely never ever wanted to get married or have kids. Look how that turned out! Honestly I think you are sooo lucky to be able to do exactly what you want to do when you want to do it. It was really hard for me to give up the college experience you get, and have to do a lot of online classes or random classes.. Anyways I think your adorable and you should absolutely live your life in the moment

cole linnae said...

thanks luc :) i think you're great.

Ben and Sydney said...

I agree Nicole. I think you are silly. If you think about it, even if you get married when you are like 30 you will still be married longer than you aren't(over a life span). So you shouldn't stress. I mean if a guy comes along and you love him, marry him. But no need to rush.

Emma said...

This is beautiful Nicole! Kinda like you... :)